Everything All At Once — The Bigger Picture — Medium
Everything All At Once — The Bigger Picture — Medium
by Ryan Hussey, medium.com
November 17, 2015

Everything All At Once
I’m not one to get overwhelmed. I know how to prioritize, how to make sense of the world swirling around me. I know how to take a step back, slow down, and formulate a plan so I can crush anything in my way.
I approach obstacles like a whack-a-mole arcade game, batting down each one as it arises. It’s like a fight scene in a cheesy superhero movie — the hero battles the villains one-by-one until all are incapacitated. But life isn’t like that. It’s not as clean and simplified as an arcade game or a choreographed melee. What happens when multiple moles begin popping up at the same time? Or when a bunch of enemies attack simultaneously?
What happens when everything — the good and the bad — seems to be happening all at once?
It’s funny. Things stay quiet for so long, I sort of get used to the silence. On the career front, on the #sidehustle front, on the romance front — I become accustomed to the lack of movement around me. I’d hate to call it stagnancy because that’s not what it is. Everything around me might be still for a while, but I keep moving, working toward whatever it is I’ve been working toward.
But then the circumstances change. The script flips and suddenly, there’s a girl, there’s a strange dude hitting on me via Facebook Messenger, there’s a slew of strange numbers calling my phone, and there’s a Gmail inbox full of requests for freelance work and responses to job applications.
So I take a step back, thinking, Where did all of this come from? Why now?
The answer is simple, really: There is no answer. There is no single explanation that makes sense. Many describe it as “feast or famine." When it’s famine, I don’t really think about it. I kind of just brush it off as a rut and say, “Nothing’s comin’ up Ryan." But when things pick up — especially after such a long silence — it’s hard to ignore. Feast is overwhelming. And for someone who isn’t easily overwhelmed, I find myself choosing my actions very carefully.
There’s only so much Ryan to go around. My energy is finite, so I need to make sure I’m using it in the right places — and on the right people. I don’t want to scare away the girl, I don’t want to lose the clients, I don’t want to miss out on the big job opportunity. (The Facebook creeper, I can do without.) But how do I keep my cool with so many different things going on?
I recently turned down a job at a well-known company. The opportunity seemed too good to be true at first, as many things do. But after taking some time to think it over, I realized it wasn’t worth pursuing at this point. Factoring in all of the elements — more money but non-permanent employment, no benefits or health insurance, no paid vacation days, and a commute that would’ve worn me down after a month — I knew I had to decline the offer. Basically, I’d be working for a Fortune 15 company without any of the perks of working for a Fortune 15 company. (Would look great on the résumé, though.)
I took a step back and made an adult decision, because that’s what you have to do when everything’s happening all at once: Clear your head and focus on one thing at a time. Analyze it from multiple angles without overthinking it, somehow.
I can’t do everything. I can’t make everyone happy. But I can do anything, and I can make myself happy.
I have a lot of interests and hobbies, some of which manifest themselves in side projects. I am most comfortable when I can focus on one project at a time and see it through to completion. When too many things are going on at once, I get stressed because I know I have limited bandwidth. Time is also a dwindling resource. Something eventually has to give.
But I want it all. I want to finish these projects I’ve assigned to myself, while maintaining mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in my life. I want to write, exercise, play, strum, laugh, act, edit, watch, listen, do, create. And I want support from friends and loved ones to pursue all of these things, but I know I need to be realistic.
I can’t do everything. I can’t make everyone happy. But I can do anything, and I can make myself happy.
Coming to grips with the fact that I can’t have it all is usually the first step in my process of calming down. For the second step, I have adopted a new motto. When things seem to be getting out of control, I repeat to myself:
It’s fiiiiiiine.
This helps me make light of any situation, lessening the metaphorical weight on my shoulders. When I was younger, I used to take things way too seriously. It got to the point where some of my elementary school teachers mentioned to my mom, “Your son is always so serious." I try not to overcompensate now, but sometimes I find it hard to take certain situations seriously. This is why my default understanding of circumstances is often that everything will be fiiiiiiine.
And more often than not, it is.

Recommend this article on Pocket!
Everything All At Once
I’m not one to get overwhelmed. I know how to prioritize, how to make sense of the world swirling around me. I know how to take a step back, slow down, and formulate a plan so I can crush anything in my way.
I approach obstacles like a whack-a-mole arcade game, batting down each one as it arises. It’s like a fight scene in a cheesy superhero movie — the hero battles the villains one-by-one until all are incapacitated. But life isn’t like that. It’s not as clean and simplified as an arcade game or a choreographed melee. What happens when multiple moles begin popping up at the same time? Or when a bunch of enemies attack simultaneously?
What happens when everything — the good and the bad — seems to be happening all at once?
It’s funny. Things stay quiet for so long, I sort of get used to the silence. On the career front, on the #sidehustle front, on the romance front — I become accustomed to the lack of movement around me. I’d hate to call it stagnancy because that’s not what it is. Everything around me might be still for a while, but I keep moving, working toward whatever it is I’ve been working toward.
But then the circumstances change. The script flips and suddenly, there’s a girl, there’s a strange dude hitting on me via Facebook Messenger, there’s a slew of strange numbers calling my phone, and there’s a Gmail inbox full of requests for freelance work and responses to job applications.
So I take a step back, thinking, Where did all of this come from? Why now?
The answer is simple, really: There is no answer. There is no single explanation that makes sense. Many describe it as “feast or famine." When it’s famine, I don’t really think about it. I kind of just brush it off as a rut and say, “Nothing’s comin’ up Ryan." But when things pick up — especially after such a long silence — it’s hard to ignore. Feast is overwhelming. And for someone who isn’t easily overwhelmed, I find myself choosing my actions very carefully.
There’s only so much Ryan to go around. My energy is finite, so I need to make sure I’m using it in the right places — and on the right people. I don’t want to scare away the girl, I don’t want to lose the clients, I don’t want to miss out on the big job opportunity. (The Facebook creeper, I can do without.) But how do I keep my cool with so many different things going on?
I recently turned down a job at a well-known company. The opportunity seemed too good to be true at first, as many things do. But after taking some time to think it over, I realized it wasn’t worth pursuing at this point. Factoring in all of the elements — more money but non-permanent employment, no benefits or health insurance, no paid vacation days, and a commute that would’ve worn me down after a month — I knew I had to decline the offer. Basically, I’d be working for a Fortune 15 company without any of the perks of working for a Fortune 15 company. (Would look great on the résumé, though.)
I took a step back and made an adult decision, because that’s what you have to do when everything’s happening all at once: Clear your head and focus on one thing at a time. Analyze it from multiple angles without overthinking it, somehow.
I can’t do everything. I can’t make everyone happy. But I can do anything, and I can make myself happy.
I have a lot of interests and hobbies, some of which manifest themselves in side projects. I am most comfortable when I can focus on one project at a time and see it through to completion. When too many things are going on at once, I get stressed because I know I have limited bandwidth. Time is also a dwindling resource. Something eventually has to give.
But I want it all. I want to finish these projects I’ve assigned to myself, while maintaining mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in my life. I want to write, exercise, play, strum, laugh, act, edit, watch, listen, do, create. And I want support from friends and loved ones to pursue all of these things, but I know I need to be realistic.
I can’t do everything. I can’t make everyone happy. But I can do anything, and I can make myself happy.
Coming to grips with the fact that I can’t have it all is usually the first step in my process of calming down. For the second step, I have adopted a new motto. When things seem to be getting out of control, I repeat to myself:
It’s fiiiiiiine.
This helps me make light of any situation, lessening the metaphorical weight on my shoulders. When I was younger, I used to take things way too seriously. It got to the point where some of my elementary school teachers mentioned to my mom, “Your son is always so serious." I try not to overcompensate now, but sometimes I find it hard to take certain situations seriously. This is why my default understanding of circumstances is often that everything will be fiiiiiiine.
And more often than not, it is.

Recommend this article on Pocket!
Recommend
